So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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