some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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