im having a threesome with these popsicles
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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