I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
