sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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