so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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