Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
