omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
