your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
