I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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