So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
