There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
