What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
