How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
