How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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