i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize