Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
