I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize