Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she was so not down for the gang bang
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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