Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize