The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
