can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
