you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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