you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
