Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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