in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
