Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize