Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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