Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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