I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She bit a glass in half.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize