An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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