i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
