Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
where are my eyebrows?
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