They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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