I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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