let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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