they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
