I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
