GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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