omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
