Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
