I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
