Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think my fart just growled at me.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Is Oprah even human
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize