He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
