And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
