I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
