Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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