i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
