And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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