"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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