I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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