There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
