Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
