Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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