Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
