he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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