; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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