Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
