We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
