so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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